Only Yours
by J Plash
Summary: Eclipse. Ch20 has ended. Edward and Bella are engaged. Bella must sleep, waking next morning to consider the outcomes of the night before. But a few hours remain before fight preparations must begin...how do E and B make the most of the hours before noon?
1. Chapter 1: Distractions

A/N: To set the scene…we enter here 4 or so paragraphs into Chapter 21 of Eclipse (p462 of the standard softcover). The night previous…well, you all know Chapter 20. Now, Bella's woken up in the morning engaged, she's had a think about it while she gets changed and decided it's going to be fine as long as no one knows and there's no fuss, and then we hear nothing until midday, when the Cullens get home. Bella "hated to waste any part of the night in sleep" (EC461)…so how did she and Edward take advantage of the time they had the next morning? This fic is my little attempt to fill in the few hours Bella and Edward spent alone before trouble began again. Epov.

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"So…you were never even tempted to, say, you know…" Bella was blushing again, lying back against my chest. She was running a new angle on one of her favourite arguments—whether or not I had ever considered any woman but her. As much as I enjoyed the gentle blush on her cheeks, this conversation was going no further if I could help it. Trying not to laugh and taking a deep breath for self control, I stopped her lips briefly with a finger before renewing my efforts at distraction. I trailed my hands slowly, lightly up her sides. Soft at her hips, in at her waist, slowly over her ribs where she shivered and tickled so exquisitely, the slight bump where her bra held to her side, though I tried my best not to think about that. Over her shoulders, skimming along her collarbone to touch bare skin where the neckline of her shirt cut across, then trailing at last up her neck, grinning to myself as her cheeks grew redder still. She squirmed most enjoyably beneath my touch. That she responded to me at all still made me deliriously happy. That she should be so perfectly adorable, so irresistibly beautiful, so sweet and so innocent and so sensual at the same time, and lying back across me on the couch no less…I shut my eyes and tried to imagine how I could possibly be happier than this. When she was my wife, perhaps. Yes. That would be the only way to make this more magnificent. I let my eyes stray to her hands—her right cradled against the soft rise of her breast, fingers still in their brace, her left resting a little awkwardly by her head, her arm bent up to let her lay her hand on my chest. How wonderful. I smiled and traced a finger along her palm. The involuntary reaction, the way her hand tried to curl itself around mine even as she blushed and tried to stay still was delightful. Captivating. Irresistible. I let my other hand slide across from her cheek to her lips, memorizing for the thousandth time the shape of her mouth, the gentle swell of her bottom lip, trembling so slightly. I ran one cool finger along the parting of her lips and she shivered deliciously against me, squeezing my left hand in her own. The touch sent heat through me in waves, a pang deep in my belly urging me to hold her close, closer, to press my mouth against hers and let her skin warm me and never let her go. I could not tear my eyes from the hand that so trustingly squeezed my own. Though my mother's ring had been stubbornly returned to its box and her finger was once more bare, my mind was full of last night…The wildness in her eyes, the touch of her hands on my bare skin, the diamonds sparkling on her finger, marking her as mine and me as hers, and the softness, the tightness, the smile in her voice as she whispered 'yes' to me in the darkness.

She sighed deeply, shifting around to settle more comfortably on top of me. I waited until she stilled to squeeze her close. She was going to be mine. All mine. Only mine. To belong to me and no one else. Not just for now, not just until I made a big enough mistake and lost her to one of her many dull-witted, presumptuous, undeserving suitors. She was not going to outgrow me, and she was not going to get sick of me, and she was not going to want more and leave me and run to the dog, or to anyone else. She was going to be only mine, forever. And I would be only hers. I was the luckiest man in the world. In all of history, perhaps.

"Edward…"

Her voice was high-pitched, sleepy. She had slept for exactly six hours and forty-nine minutes last night. I had known when she woke that I should try to make her sleep again, to go back to bed until my family returned, but I had made some sheepish excuses in my head and held her in my arms while she woke instead. Yes, she had barely slept all week, insistent as she was on watching us…my family…prepare. Nonetheless, it couldn't truly hurt her to be awake this morning, this morning of all mornings, newly engaged—pleasure thrilled through me anew at the thought—and I so desperately wanted her to be awake for a last few hours of being alone together. I couldn't hold her like this while she slept. I couldn't kiss her while she slept. I couldn't watch her mind move through her eyes, and she couldn't reach for me and scold me and argue with me while she slept. However much I enjoyed it, her sleep-talking didn't come close to the joys of listening to her speak awake. And as beautiful as she was as she lay dreaming, peaceful and taken by fantasy, nothing in the world could be quite as glorious as Bella just…being Bella. I allowed myself a long moment to watch her trying to focus, make herself alert—her eyes squinting and widening, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips, her back arching against me—before I answered. "Yes, love?"

With what seemed to be a considerable effort, she rolled around onto her side to look up at me. Every move she made sent thrills through me. I hoped it wasn't too obvious. For all her breathtaking attempts to…I still could barely believe it…seduce me, she would surely be embarrassed if she knew just how pleasurable it was to have her lying on top of me, moving against my body. I couldn't help it if every nerve ending felt four times what any human's could.

"You really shouldn't keep distracting me every time I try to talk to you." Her objection didn't sound overly sincere. At all. Her eyes were dancing with laughter and content and meeting them sent the burning at the core of me flaring again, daring me to hold her gaze and draw her closer and solicit from her those mesmerising, blissful sounds that she made sometimes, only for me. Her eyes were daring me. Or at least, it looked that way to me. I wondered whether perhaps she wouldn't mind so terribly if I were to…to slide my hands under the edge of her long-sleeved shirt and feel her warm skin beneath my fingers, the taut, pale skin of her belly that I could see when she slept and her top shifted as she moved…the gentle, tactile curve of her back, the impossibly sensual way she arched and stretched…and oh, how I would move her…. I reminded myself that when my thoughts began by stringing themselves out in inelegant phrases of qualification, it usually meant that I had hit upon a bad idea. She had slumped forward a little, her eyes still locked on mine, apparently dizzy. Again. I smirked. I was going to win this one. I stared her down, letting just a hint of my desire creep into my eyes. I kept my voice deliberately low. "And why is that, love?"

"Well…um…um…you…. Edward…"

I chuckled deep in my throat, careful not to disturb Bella's trance. Slowly, carefully, I traced two fingers down the length of her spine, from the hidden place at the nape of her neck, white beneath the dusky brown, sweet-scented silk of her hair, stroking over each vertebra to the small of her back and on, lower, stopping just at the top of her jeans, running the length of a finger along bare skin, bare just on her hips in the gap between her shirt and pants. She arched and moved viscerally along the line of my touch, her eyes fluttering shut, her lips parting softly, her skin warm through the fabric of her top and warmer still flush against mine at the lowest point I could touch. She really was the most exquisite creature imaginable.

Her heart sped like the rushing wind outside the window, the early whispers of a building storm. Her breath was shallow as she reached to touch my face. Her hand on my cheek moved me no less than it had when I had first guided it there in our meadow in the sun. A year ago, three months and two days. And when she pulled herself up with such effort to kiss my lips, when she moved to press her beautiful, gentle, trusting face against my coldness, it still left me in awe. We had kissed a hundred times—a thousand times, more. But no number of kisses, I thought absently, my grasp on thought drifting away beneath her sweet, unguarded lips, could ever weaken the disbelief, the joy, the humbling, weakening gratitude that such an angel could give her love to me.

When her body began to weaken and stiffen for lack of breath, I lifted her face slowly from mine, coaxing the air back into her lungs with gentle hands on her back, her neck, letting her relax against me, cradling her carefully in my arms. As she drew in slow gasps of air, eyes still closed, I pulled her a little closer up my body, just enough to whisper in her ear. "My dear, sweet Bella…" I smiled at the answering sigh in her throat. I let my lips touch her ear, my breath raise goose bumps on her skin. "I only try to distract you from your arguments because they are absurd. You are the only one who can move me. You are the only one who can make me feel this way. You are the only one I have ever wanted. You are the only one I will ever love."

She sighed again happily as I let my lips trail further down her neck. The taste of her skin, subtle on my lips, was tantalising, arousing, but not nearly so much as the whimper that escaped her open mouth as I moved back up her neck and lifted her chin with a finger, letting my lips linger beneath her jaw. The sounds Bella made when I kissed her were so much better than any music. She shivered, long and uncontrolled as I turned her face down once more to kiss the corner of her lips…the tip of her nose…the blush of her cheeks…two trembling, closed eyelids…and she moaned softly, gloriously, perfectly as she gave in and pressed against my cheek, moving me sweetly, softly, wantingly back to her lips. I yielded more than willingly. Kissing Bella was heaven. The idea that I could want anyone else was…laughable, at best. She pulled herself closer to me as we kissed, wrapping her arms around my neck, gripping her fingers in my hair, and I surrendered, letting my hands run over her scalp and down her back, losing myself in her mouth, in her body, in her sweet, selfless giving. I had won this argument…for now.

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A/N: This should have one or two more chapters eventually. When I like them ;-) Please review – it will help me heaps with the next chapter


	2. Chapter 2: Evasive

Many thanks for all the feedback – here be part 2! Hooray for fluff. Bella's pov.

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I leaned back against the arm of the couch, deliberately putting distance between myself and Edward. We were sitting in the Cullens' vast, white living room, enjoying a last few hours of genuine alone time before the rest of the family returned with their inconvenient ability to hear through walls and over the other side of the house. For now, however, I was sacrificing my place in Edward's arms for round nineteen of the argument I had been losing all morning. Or rather, the argument I had been unable to continue all morning. However stupid it may have seemed two hours ago, it was now of vital importance. The conversation may have been silly and rather pointless, but we were going to have it before the Cullens got home, because I was not going to let Edward win. I took a deep breath of fresh air, leaning as far away from Edward and his intoxicating scent and his impossibly effective distractions as I could. I tried my best to look stern. "Ok, no distracting me this time."

His voice was low and full of laughter, breathing velvet words as his eyes smouldered. "Really?"

My angel was tracing one cool fingertip back and forth over my bottom lip and I closed my eyes before he could dazzle me completely.

"Really." My whisper didn't sound convincing even to me.

His soft, feather-light touch ran lines out to rest on my jaw, and I didn't pull away as he leaned in to kiss me slowly, glass-smooth lips just barely moving on mine. Arguing with him wasn't really important, after all, and the taste his touch left on my lips was so good, and the taste of his lips was even better... "Damn it," I grumbled as he pulled away to smirk at me.

"What was that you were saying?"

"I hate you." I glared half-heartedly at his nose, doing my best not to meet his eyes.

"Mmm, I can tell by the way you're sitting in my lap."

I was sitting in his lap? Yes, I was. When did that happen? I buried my face in his chest before he could kiss me again. Must focus. His arms wrapped loosely around me. "Perhaps I should make you hate me more often…" His voice was like velvet. Velvet and cider and warm honey. Smiling. Laughing at me, quietly. I wrapped myself closer against him. I could glare, but I couldn't bring myself to be cross with him. Not really.

It was cold here curled in his lap, cold despite my long-sleeved shirt and sweater, but not nearly cold enough to make me move any time soon. I could just feel his laughter as it moved his chest. Stupid smug vampire. I let my lips rest just for a moment on his skin where it lay exposed by the neckline of his sweater. I was only as tall as the top of his chest, and he bent down to kiss the top of my head as his arms tightened, just a little. It made me smile. That I could have any effect on Edward at all was unbelievable. That didn't mean I wasn't profoundly glad. I grinned as I laid my head back against his cold skin. "So, what I was saying…" I paused to glance up at him, trying to gauge whether he was actually going to listen. His eyes danced with laughter, daring me to try to have this conversation again. I narrowed my eyes. "What I was saying, before you so helpfully distracted me eighteen times—" I glared at his chin as he started to laugh again "—was," I looked firmly away from Edward's face and tensed myself against the weakness that would inevitably invade my willpower as soon as he got tired of my line of argument and decided to shift me away from it. "Weren't you ever tempted, even just, not seriously, maybe…"

His fingers had wound through my hair to press against my scalp, not hard, just firmly, firmly enough that I could feel the tension flooding out of me as his hands moved slowly from the top of my head down to the back of my neck, massaging the tightness out of my body and making me force back an involuntary sigh of pleasure. "Edward…"

"Yes, love?" Oh, and he thought he could play innocent.

"You're trying to distract me again." I gasped in air as his fingers slipped under the back of my sweater to work loose the tension in my shoulders, to press methodically around the first few bumps of my spine…

"What am I doing?" His breath tickled my ear.

"Um…" His hands felt wonderful beneath my warm clothes, even though he only reached as far as his knuckles under the back of my neckline…even though I'd much rather he just took my shirt off altogether…I felt myself blush red and ducked my head further down. It didn't help. I glared at his neck as he laughed again, infuriated by his unshakeable calm. "You're trying to prevent us having a perfectly legitimate conversation because despite wanting me to marry you, you don't feel it's reasonable to actually talk about anything."

His hands paused on my neck. I glanced quickly up at his face. He seemed unsure. I bit my lip, suddenly aware that my embarassment had made me harsher than I'd intended. "Well…I mean…"

"Bella…" His hands moved back to cup my cheeks. I blushed again as he lifted my face to meet his eyes. "You're not actually trying to talk to me. You're just trying to…to tease me with silly arguments. Aren't you?"

His eyes searched mine, desperately trying as he so often did to see through into my mind. I allowed myself a moment to gaze into his eyes before I gathered my thoughts. I chose my words carefully. He seemed genuinely worried, but I was still determined to win this one. He was not going to distract me by worrying any more than I was going to let him distract me the usual way. Even if he had already succeeded eighteen separate times this morning. Stupid irresistible Edward. I took a deep breath. Unfortunately, being so close to him, this had the opposite effect to that desired. My head swam with his intoxicating scent. I leaned back, thinking as hard as I could of things that didn't involve kissing Edward, and focused firmly over his shoulder. "You can't read my mind. What makes you think I'm not trying to have a serious conversation?"

He seemed to consider. I made the considerable effort to keep my lips in a hard line. He nodded minutely to himself. "Several things." He smiled tentatively at me. I stubbornly held on and didn't smile back. He wasn't going to win that easily. He frowned. "I thought…that this conversation started this morning, with you trying to convince me that I might have cared for someone before you. A suggestion which holds no truth, and which I was confident was being made in jest after the first two minutes of the conversation, at the most."

I didn't reply. I was beginning to feel a little guilty for worrying him, but I wanted to leave him hanging just a little longer…he had, after all, spent the last two hours laughing at my inability to form a coherent sentence when he so much as looked at me. He seemed to hesitate before going on. "And it seemed to me that what you've been trying to ask for the last two hours was the same question you didn't quite make it through this morning, when we were having that...lighthearted conversation…" His lips quirked up minutely, smiling at my two hours of futile attempts at resistance. I glared at the wall behind him. I wasn't taking any risks by turning to look at him. The corner of my eye was quite enough. He shifted to read my face, and I hurriedly turned away. His voice was now definitively worried-sounding. "And if you have been trying to continue the lighthearted conversation we were having this morning, then surely there's no way that you could be trying to ask a serious question."

He sounded so confused. I let myself smile at last, just a little. Edward spent so very much time confusing me, distracting and puzzling, being mysterious and secretive and utterly incredible…I bit my lip. Focus. I kept my smile under control. "Well, Edward…" I ducked my head back under his chin to avoid his gaze, prolonging the remaining moments before he realised I was just teasing. "Perhaps I was joking this morning…but you've been so evasive, it makes me wonder."

And suddenly I was gazing into his eyes once more, coherent thought filtering from my mind. "Bella..." His face was stricken, hurt clear in his voice. I sighed, guilt suddenly outweighing satisfaction. Perhaps I had taken this a little far. Silly paranoid Edward. One hand held my jaw gently but firmly, refusing to let me look away, his other soft on my hair. I tried to make my smile reassuring. "Yes?" I was beginning to feel dizzy again.

His eyes burned into mine, alight with concern. "What were you trying to ask me, love? I'll answer, I promise. I don't want you to wonder about anything, Bella. You never have to worry about anything again." So soft and so intense. I felt the blood rise slowly across my cheeks and somewhere into the vicinity of my ears. Now I'd really done it. I bit my lips and tried to look down. There was no way I could get out of this now without looking distinctly foolish.

"Bella?" He brushed one finger across my burning cheeks. "Why are you blushing?"

I continued to direct my eyes as far into my bottom lids as they would go. He lasted all of about ten seconds. "Please, Bella. What are you thinking?"

I shrugged awkwardly, stalling, trying to think of a more serious question. Nothing came.

"Bella…" I could feel the frustration coming off him in waves as I continued to edit myself into silence.

I laughed nervously at the irony as I wished he'd just go back to distracting me again.

He lowered his face 'til his cool forehead rested against my burning one. I shivered at the contrast. He smiled, just a little. "Bella…" His breath washed over me like a drug, melting my embarrassment and my willpower at the same time. "Tell me what you're thinking."

I gazed dreamily into his enormous, beautiful eyes. I smiled. "I'm thinking…"

"Yes?" The barest whisper, velvet and seductive and perfect. I tried to remember what I was thinking. "Umm…"

And there was that gorgeous crooked smile. I fell backwards into Edward's arm, stroking my back, all my muscles relaxing beyond my control. His thumb lightly brushed my cheek. "I believe it began with 'weren't you ever tempted to'." He raised an eyebrow.

I tried to think. About anything. At all. "Weren't you ever tempted to…" I licked my lips absentmindedly. My throat had gone inexplicably dry. And then the answer floated miraculously into my head. The carefully worded question I'd been trying to ask all morning. I finished the sentence before I'd had a chance to think. "Weren't you ever tempted to have a fling with any of the Forks High girls, just to annoy Mike?"

He blinked, fingers still running coolly burning trails down my back. "That's what you were trying to ask me?"

I nodded vaguely, completely absorbed in Edward, reaching out to touch the dark bruises under his eyes. He looked so very wonderful, staring at me wide-eyed and stunned. And then he laughed, and the sound melted my heart. He leaned in close to whisper against my lips. "Bella. First, I barely noticed Mike Newton—" he sneered the name half-jokingly "—existed before you came along to make me jealous."

I giggled quietly. I wondered vaguely why I was giggling. I was sure I didn't usually giggle.

His arms drew me closer, pressed me against his cool, hard chest. I draped my arms around his neck, completely content. He leaned back in until our noses were touching. "And secondly—" He paused to brush his cool lips briefly, breathtakingly against mine. "Can you really imagine me 'having a fling' with anyone?"

I shrugged happily, still unconcerned, still smiling a little inanely.

He raised an eyebrow. "I've dazzled you again, haven't I?"

I nodded sheepishly, biting my lip as something vaguely registered that I should probably be embarassed.

He shook his head in quiet amusement, never breaking my gaze. "Silly Bella." Even laughing softly at my incoherence, I was sure his voice would have been the most wonderful thing in the world if it weren't equalled by everything else about him. He touched his lips so lightly to my forehead. I reached up to touch his cheek once more. "Edward?"

"Mmm?"

And as I tried ineffectually to pull his face down to mine, he bent down himself and kissed me gently on the lips. I pouted when he pulled away. He laughed quietly. It shook me softly against his chest. "Bella," he whispered in my ear, "Before you, I had roughly as much interest in women as I do in pizza." He pulled back to kiss the tip of my nose. I blushed, the dazzlement beginning to fade as I looked sheepishly away. "Possibly less." He smirked as I stared stubbornly at his chin.

I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't make me feel more foolish still. I sat very still and blushed. A lot. I shivered at his lips on my hair. My voice was unsteady in my throat as something came to me. "But you did eat that bite of pizza once."

He wasn't bothering to hide his laughter anymore. His voice tickled against my ear, burning and far, far too seductive to be fair. "And am I not holding a beautiful woman in my arms right now?"

He grinned as I blushed more furiously than I had thought possible. "My silly, beautiful Bella."

I tucked my head under Edward's chin once more and burrowed awkwardly into his neck, mumbling incoherencies. He laughed again, hugging me close. The cool of his skin was comforting. I wrapped my arms tightly around his chest. For a moment, we were completely still.

"Bella?" A breath against my temple.

"Yes?" My voice was muffled in the side of his neck.

And then his hand was beneath my jaw once more, and all my embarrassment melted away as his eyes found mine, and his hands caressed my hair and held me to him, and his lips hovered the smallest distance from mine. I looked into his eyes and couldn't believe it. The stupid vampire thought he still needed permission to kiss me. Stupid Edward. So I moved my arms to round his neck, and tangled my fingers in his soft hair, and pulled him closer, fire erupting in every nerve as his lips moved eagerly—softly, gently, but hungrily nonetheless—with my clumsy kisses. Reacting on instinct, all conscious thought long gone, I darted my tongue out to taste his cool, sweet, firmly closed lips, and he shook his head minutely, smiling against me, but he did not pull away. He was still cold, and the air was still unseasonably so, but I felt full of warmth. When I had to pull away to breathe, he lay back on the couch, pulling me carefully on top of him as he went, one arm tight around my waist, the other stroking down my neck. The closeness, the way he held my hips against him, the electricity that shivered down my spine with every move he made, was bliss. Tightening my arms round his neck, pulling myself up his body, I pressed my lips once more to his, warmth flooding through me as the hand at my neck moved to the back of my head to hold me to him. Distraction or not, this was heaven. I could worry about fighting and fear and engagement rings and danger and weddings and hostile newborns later. For now, Edward was kissing me, and my body was pressed against his, and his lips were hungry and perfect on mine, and I was in heaven. He felt me pulling away for air once more and released the pressure on the back of my head, reaching to kiss under my jaw and down my neck. I smiled as my lungs filled once more and I bent back to his lips. "I love you, Edward." His lips cut off his name on mine, but he pulled away a second later to whisper velvet against my mouth. "And I love you…my fiancée."

I tried half-heartedly to make a face at him, but he was kissing me again, and I settled for sliding my fingers into his hair and kissing him back. Everything else could wait. Right now, the whole world was perfect. And so we lay on the couch in the living room, me sprawled happily atop Edward, Edward holding me close, kissing eagerly and joyously and luxuriantly and contentedly and desperately and thoroughly in love until the rest of the Cullens burst through the front door and turned me a very bright red. I knew that Edward must have heard them coming. I knew that he was laughing at me blushing, and I knew that the crooked smile on his face really was insufferably smug. But I didn't care. What could possibly be wrong with the world? My angel, the love of my life, my perfect, wonderful Edward was mine, only mine. Forever. And I was truly, bindingly, forever, only his.


	3. Chapter 3: Taking Account

A/N: Sorry that this chapter took so long - I had a 2 month intermission of overseas backpacking :P You guys are awesome for coming back and reading :-)

In case you've forgotten, we're at the start of Eclipse ch.21. Bella has agreed to marry Edward, Edward has agreed to make love to Bella, Bella has fallen asleep, and now she is waking up. To quote: "_The sun was bright outside the window-wall when I woke, with small clouds scuttling too quickly across the sky. The wind rocked the treetops till the whole forest looked as if it was going to shake apart._" What happened when Bella awoke, while the trees shook themselves to pieces? If you're new to the story, I hope you enjoy all three chapters!

There's one more chapter to go on this, so please review with comments, criticism or encouragement! Thanks all :-D

Disclaimer: Twilight (particularly the brief quote above) belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

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I sat cross-legged on the couch. Thus far, the morning had been…awkward. Well. The first hour of the morning had been fine. The ring had been safely hidden away before sleep, the sun was shining and I was cool and safe and happy in Edward's arms. He didn't often hold me all night—he worried that I'd wake, or freeze, or be uncomfortable in his stone arms—stupid vampire. So when the familiar feel of his marble chest, the firm, cold weight of his arms remained while my head tried to wake me, logic argued that I must still be sleeping. My eyes creaked open to his improbably pale cheeks, sparkling faintly in the sun through the window, and I tried sleepily to blink the dream away. When I blinked into his impossibly burning eyes, liquid topaz and toffee and bronze and too soft and too excited and too full of the same fierce joy that they had been the night before, I was sure I was not yet awake. He reached down to brush the mussed hair from my face and slowly, carefully rested his forehead against mine. The trails where his fingertips moved were cool—tingling—burning. And as I realized the tiredness of my eyes, the slowly creeping sense of things I shouldn't be thinking and, much more pressing, the blood rushing to the surface of my skin and the electric shivers of everything he touched, it occurred to me that these things probably meant this was real. I blinked. Edward was still there, skin smooth and soothing against my face, one hand stroking slowly, ridiculously seductive down my neck. My whole body burned. Sleep was not coming back. His eyes locked on mine. I found myself unable to blink a second time.

"Good morning," he whispered, deliberate and soft, and I heard his grin though I was too close to see it. My voice was stuck in my throat. I smiled shakily and knew I didn't really want to tear my eyes from his nearly as much as I should have. Then his lips were on mine, and it didn't matter that this was unusual for him so early in the morning, because there was nothing else I wanted in the world. I relaxed against the excess of pillows, Edward's arms still holding me gently. This was…easy. Right. Good. I was too tired and too only half-awake to push his newly extended boundaries, and he was too ecstatic to stay still and slow and peaceful long, and for once, for one beautiful minute it felt like we were moving exactly the same, two halves of the complete kiss, soft and deep and eager and more passionate than I had once dreamed I could feel. Hot and cool and without questions and loaded with desire and anticipation…

And then at last I was fully awake, and I froze despite myself as the night before came rushing back to me consciously and in full. For all of half a millisecond I allowed myself to hope he hadn't noticed. I allowed myself the instant until his lips stilled and there were inches between us once more. And then I stopped dreaming, and knew he had. Of course. He was having difficulty frowning, but the concern…fear was there in his eyes. The uncertain line of his lips wavered, smiling nervously, frowning at my unconvincing attempt at a grin. "Bella?"

I took a deep breath. _Calm_, I urged myself. His scent helped. I breathed it in again. _It's okay. You're here with Edward. He loves you. He wants you. He's going to stay with you forever. That's all that matters._ My breathing felt heavy, constricted._ Everything's okay_, I repeated in my mind. My voice was still stuck in my throat. I forced myself to keep my eyes on Edward's chin as I self-consciously—compulsively—fingered where Elizabeth Mason's ring – Edward's ring – had rested the night before. My ring. The thought made my breath catch painfully in my throat. Rested was not the right word for the ring. I wasn't sure of the right one. 'Weighed' felt like a more appropriate description. Shouted. With the way it sparkled, shouting was what the ring would do best. It was beautiful—undeniably so. I just wished it didn't come with the 'handbook on denying sordid rumours about your overly flashy engagement ring'. I pushed the word 'engagement' to a far corner of my mind before it could stop me breathing altogether. I could only imagine what stories Lauren would spread if she saw the jewels. I could hear her voice, whispering eagerly in Jessica's ear—"did you hear, she got pregnant, and threatened to tell unless he married her and bought her off with diamonds. He's probably paying her to keep quiet, too. What a slut."

I couldn't help the irrational terror, part fear, part fury that shuddered skin to bones at that thought. I shouldn't be afraid of Lauren Mallory or any of the rest of them, I knew that, but the thought of the whispers, of mutterings overheard on street corners, of the mothers of the ex-seniors gossiping in the Thriftway…I couldn't stand it. Even imagining it made my cheeks burn and tears of anger prick in the backs of my eyes.

I was only half-aware, numbly so as his hands slid beneath my shoulders and deftly raised me to sit against plush gold cushions. I wondered whether I really was asleep. The nervous, panicked heat in my cheeks forcibly subsided as his bloodless fingers traced across my cheekbones, drawing out the warmth, sending my blood retreating deep within.

"Are you alright, love?"

I hesitated a moment before nodding stiffly. He brushed my hair back over my shoulders, still frowning. "Speak to me, love. Please, Bella."

I opened and closed my mouth twice without effect.

"Bella…"

His eyes were caught between frustration and fear, and I tried to think of something to say. And to remember how to speak. My lungs felt empty.

His voice was strained. "Calm down, please love. Your heart is racing."

His thumb rested on my bottom lip, pressing gently. I tried to focus on that.

"Your breathing is too shallow, Bella."

I took a deep breath through my nose, not wanting him to stop touching my lips.

He smiled unhappily. "Don't be afraid, love. You're safe."

His words were slow, soothing—the way you speak to a hysterical person. I wondered what I looked like.

"You have nothing to worry about. I'm here. Just tell me what's wrong, and I'll fix it. Please, Bella."

His thumb stroked along to the junction of my lips, and panicking was suddenly much harder. I took another deep breath through my nose. My throat felt thick and raw. "I'm fine." My voice sounded much like my throat felt. I coughed. He traced my jaw with his fingertips and it tensed almost painfully then loosened blissfully as I shivered in pleasure. He brushed my cheek with the back of his hand and grinned just a little at my easy reactions. It didn't last. "You weren't a minute ago."

It wasn't accusing, just…true. I refused to cringe. He waited. I knew Edward's limited patience for answers wouldn't last long. I allowed myself one long moment to consider. Could I change my mind? Of course. Edward would never try to force me into anything. Then…did I want to change my mind? I had no qualms about spending forever with Edward. I had no qualms about committing myself eternally, exclusively, unbreakably to him. I had no problems with the actual…marriage bit, as such. Then…the wedding. Yes. And the word. The title. The associations. How my friends would look at me. What people would say. How it would hurt Renee. And how…how it was still getting married. How Charlie still sat in Forks and remembered the time before marriage destroyed the only love he ever wanted. I bit my lip and immediately regretted it.

"Bella?"

Impatient. Frustrated. Afraid.

I hated myself for the fear in his voice. I needed an answer. We weren't like Renee and Charlie. I had already stayed in Forks for Edward. And he had already come back here for me. It would take more than a stupid wedding to come between us – it would take an imploding universe to come between us. Was it worth the whispers and the sidelong glances, the disparaging stares and the attention of a whole stupid town to know just once before I changed and we changed and everything changed that for one night, Edward and I had wanted exactly the same? That he had wanted me and I had wanted him more than anything and that we could be two parts indistinguishable and one part all the same and not know the difference? Yes. Yes. No question. Kissing this morning, when what he'd had to give had satisfied me, and what I could do had been right for him – inseparable, asking nothing, wills indistinguishable – I wanted that. I wanted it completely. I wanted it to take us both over. I wanted to be Edward and for him to be me. I wanted the lines to blur. The rest of the world meant nothing.

And was it worth the hurt I'd cause Renee and Charlie, if it was the only way to avoid hurting Edward more? Without a moment's doubt. Without a question. I had seen the joy on his face last night. I had seen it burning in his eyes this morning. That was worth everything. I couldn't take that away. I couldn't replace that with pain. I couldn't tear him apart.

I didn't realise he was speaking until a moment after he'd begun.

"…Bella."

_Huh?_ I struggled to focus.

"Would you like some water?"

When had he fetched water?

"Say something, Bella. Please."

I opened my mouth again. What was I going to say? He stroked my palm, clearly distressed. "Anything, love. Please, just don't sit there…"

What was I doing? I knew Edward wasn't good at waiting. I knew everything about Edward—everything that mattered. And deep down, I knew that he knew everything about me. He loved me. And I loved him more than anything. And at some point before I turned nineteen, we were going to be married.

Simple as that.

And that was all he needed to know.

I considered half a second longer, breathed in, and lied. "Last night, I had a nightmare about when you left me. It just…it came back to me…I overreacted. I'm sorry I worried you."

He raised an eyebrow. His frown deepened. That ancient, tragic sadness made his voice heavy. "You've never been a good liar, Bella."

I mentally slapped myself. _Well done Bella. Think of something else…_

His finger under my chin made me jump and I frantically avoided his eyes. He watched me carefully. Consideringly. His eyes widened.

"You're afraid?"

I shook my head firmly. Too firmly, I knew as soon as I'd done it. And then, his arms had tightened around me, and his eyes were pouring magic into mine.

"And I thought that your capacity for rational response had been exhausted."

I could feel the breath of his words faint on my mouth. Taste the scented air.

"It's natural to be afraid, love." He leaned in to brush his lips against mine, too briefly for me to respond. His eyes made it impossible to doubt him. I didn't breathe. "I promise I will not let anything happen to you. I will not leave your side. Not now, not this weekend, not ever. I will not let you out of my sight until every one of these newborns and whoever leads them is destroyed. No one, nothing is ever going to hurt you again. Soon, this battle will be over and all we'll have left will be forever to belong to each other."

I sucked in air as his touch on my throat reminded me to breathe. And though I wasn't afraid for myself, not with Edward by my side, I preferred that lie to filling his eyes with pain at the truth of what I'd been thinking. So I buried my face in his chest before he could see the lie in my eyes, and nodded silently until I knew he wouldn't hear it in my voice. Because there was one thing that would always be true in my voice. "I love you."

And the smile of his lips against my hair soothed the doubts and fears and deep-set oppositions in my heart. That conditioning had been made for human life. Those rules of common sense and waiting and reason had not been drawn for immortal perfection. Those 'too young's had not taken account of forever. Those doubts had not taken into account Edward and me.

"I love you, my Bella."

His words were velvet against my brow. Somehow, everything would be alright. This weekend, the two days of danger before us, would be past, the wedding would be such a non-event it would barely count as a wedding, and we would be okay. I would be okay. I smiled into his neck, stronger with his arms around me. "Forever."


End file.
